• 19Sep

    Cows may be dumb, but apparently they actually love jazz, at least this video, which presents some of the best real life cow humor I’ve ever seen would suggest.

    Growing up working on a dairy farm I spent a lot of time around cows. Enough time to know that they definitely have their own personalities and temperaments. But in my experience they are not particularly intelligent, even as farm animals go. Some are more precocious than others, but in any herd there are generally more than a few who will ignore any attempt to get their attention short of “driving” them toward food or the milking barn. Even then, there are often one or two who will be stubborn and either ignore you, or simply choose to be recalcitrant. A cow herd is certainly unlikely to simply take a break from feeding on good pasture and come up to the edge of a field in mass even to check you out, I’ve certainly never accomplished it, despite many attempts. This video shows

    The cows in this video have really nice pasture, and it appears that the individuals trying to get their attention are unfamiliar, have no food, nor do the cows expect to be fed by them, as evidenced by the fact that they remain at a distance of perhaps 50 yards. In my fairly extensive experience, some cows will ignore you if you come up to the edge of their pasture and try to get their attention while others will come to check you out. But chewing your cud all day may be a little bit boring, and I’ve never tried anything this entertaining, and I’ve never seen an entire herd come and line up to check out a group of visitors with whom they are unfamiliar. This video seems to suggest that cows, at least these cows, actually like Jazz.

    I suspect it’s the low register from the tuba ( more than anything that intrigues them, since it mimics their own call (“the cow says Moooo…”). But it’s pretty darn funny in any case, and only like 2 minutes long, so you really should check it out and have a laugh…

  • 27Nov

    Nation Waist-Deep In Soybeans After $30 Trillion Farm Subsidy Bill Accidentally Passed

    EXCERPT: WASHINGTON—Days after the accidental passage of a bill allocating $30 trillion in federal subsidies to soybean producers, a massive tide of the protein-rich legumes has flooded the nation, crippling transportation networks, commerce, and public utilities, and profoundly disrupting American life.

    “Soybeans are everywhere,” Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack said Wednesday, noting that all 406 million acres of arable land in the United States have been converted to soybean cultivation as farmers sought a share of funds worth more than twice the gross domestic product. “Many citizens have shoveled out their driveways only to find that schools and businesses have been shut down. Millions more remain trapped indoors as windblown soybean drifts cover entire houses.”

    “For most, simply getting to the grocery store has become impossible,” Vilsack continued. “Not that grocery stores have much in them besides soybeans at this point.”

    Read the full satire HERE

  • 24Nov

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